Sunday, January 31, 2010
Handcuff yourself to a treadmill!
obesity is a serious problem, and we should have real, challenging discussions about ways to fix it. Or we can just do the easy thing, point and laugh at these sad souls.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
who would do this to poor little kittens?!?!?!
Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com. $4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com. $4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
Friday, January 29, 2010
Make it rain!
okkk....okkk, the only reason I stumbled onto SexLab is because I went to school with professor Jordan, true side story, he tried to show me his penis. Anyways, the professor was a creative genius back at school and SexLab offers a quick laugh on a boring Friday afternoon. Hopefully, one day, I could have the millionaire performed on me... make it rain!
Support these guys and buy a freaking t-shirt!
Support these guys and buy a freaking t-shirt!
Sex Lab - Episode 10 - The Millionaire from Sex Lab on Vimeo.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
CoCo gone wild, I mean viral
Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few weeks you are fully aware of the feud between Jay Leno and my beloved CoCo. Coco’s cheeky, self-deprecating humor trumps the geriatric comedy of Leno. Unfortunately, Leno’s ego has put CoCo and his staff into the unemployment line.
CoCo’s generational pull, the very thing that makes him popular with the 18-34 age bracket is also responsible for his undoing. Facebook campaign’s to save CoCo’s job are on the verge of touching 1 million people.
Those behind the groundswell of online support for O'Brien may in fact love the new Tonight Show, but they love watching it on YouTube the next morning. Ironically, it’s his fans' viewing habits that lead to his eventual demise.
These clips get passed from friend to friend and become conversation points around the preverbal water cooler. YouTube viewing poses a huge challenge for advertisers and content producers. For the first time in the history of television, the viewers have more control over what and how they watch than the broadcaster does.
I, like others in ‘generation Facebook’ are used to watching TV on our time and terms. Unfortunately, this does not work for advertisers.
Honestly, declining ratings aren't the fault of "Generation Facebook", but rather the fault of advertisers and broadcasters not keeping pace with technology and clinging to antiquated and generally obsolete methods to track viewers.
For now, I stand with CoCo, shoulder to shoulder through this viral campaign, and will keep watching him wherever he lands, and I will continue to watch him on my terms and time.
PS. new age marketing and advertising = click the adsense ad's on this page and get me paid!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Get paid!!!
Here is a piece of YouTube gold! Missed the deadline to submit my own flavor and bottle…
wish i could smell like a vault.
wish i could smell like a vault.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
So now we care? Now we feel Haitian pain?
It is not my intention to downplay the tragedy and destruction of the Haitian earthquake that struck on January 12th, but it’s an unfortunate trend in society to open their hearts and wallets only after natural disasters. It seems that we have forgotten our Haitian history lesson.
Haiti has known only exploitation since its inception. The Spanish mined it for gold and in return introduced small pox, slavery, and arbitrary execution. Haiti later became the crown jewel in the French colonial empire based in the immense profits from sugar, coffee and indigo and was often described as one of the most brutally efficient colonies in the world.
Following the ideals of the French Revolution, and inspired by the American war of independence, Haiti broke the chains of colonial domination only to be isolated politically and economically. Even the new American republic would not open diplomatic relations with Haiti or trade with them. This isolation would eventually force Haitian President Boyer to agree to treaty in 1825 paying France 150 million Francs in exchange for their recognition of Haitian independence, this was seen as compensation for the profits lost from the slave trade and a sum that crippled economic development.
A Scene from the Battle at San Domingo
Haiti has offered the world many things; it is recognized now as the first independent Latin American country, and the first black-led republic. Furthermore, the republic was instrumental in aiding Simon Bolivar who is credited with contributing decisively to the independence of Venezuela, Columbia, Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia.
Even with all this history, Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere and has been plagued with political and social violence. Over its 200 year history it has suffered 32 coups, and the instability of government and society has crippled its progress. Factions of the army, elite classes, and foreign commercial class have constantly undermined the government. On more than one occasion, French, U.S., German and British forces allegedly claimed large sums of money from the vaults of the National Bank of Haiti.
In all aspects of the definition, Haiti is a failed state, foreign aid makes up 30-40% of the national government budget, it has consistently ranked among the most corrupt countries in the world and many of its citizens live on less than $2 a day. This extreme poverty has forced at least 225,000 children into slavery working as unpaid household servants. Further crippling Haiti’s development is the appalling 50% literacy rate, and the fact that approximately 80% of college graduates from Haiti have immigrated to other nations effectively draining the nation of the youthful skill and education that is essential in developing an economy.
Welcome to Haiti
So why do we care now? Where was this apathy and generosity over the past two hundred years where wealthy nations and individuals raped this nation? Honestly, does it take a natural disaster to get noticed? And with all due respect for the work being done in Haiti now, how much of this new found generosity will be lost in bureaucratic costs and how much will western firms profit for the ‘re-construction’ of Haiti? Haitians, if anyone, deserve better.
Haiti has known only exploitation since its inception. The Spanish mined it for gold and in return introduced small pox, slavery, and arbitrary execution. Haiti later became the crown jewel in the French colonial empire based in the immense profits from sugar, coffee and indigo and was often described as one of the most brutally efficient colonies in the world.
Following the ideals of the French Revolution, and inspired by the American war of independence, Haiti broke the chains of colonial domination only to be isolated politically and economically. Even the new American republic would not open diplomatic relations with Haiti or trade with them. This isolation would eventually force Haitian President Boyer to agree to treaty in 1825 paying France 150 million Francs in exchange for their recognition of Haitian independence, this was seen as compensation for the profits lost from the slave trade and a sum that crippled economic development.
A Scene from the Battle at San DomingoHaiti has offered the world many things; it is recognized now as the first independent Latin American country, and the first black-led republic. Furthermore, the republic was instrumental in aiding Simon Bolivar who is credited with contributing decisively to the independence of Venezuela, Columbia, Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia.
Even with all this history, Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere and has been plagued with political and social violence. Over its 200 year history it has suffered 32 coups, and the instability of government and society has crippled its progress. Factions of the army, elite classes, and foreign commercial class have constantly undermined the government. On more than one occasion, French, U.S., German and British forces allegedly claimed large sums of money from the vaults of the National Bank of Haiti.
In all aspects of the definition, Haiti is a failed state, foreign aid makes up 30-40% of the national government budget, it has consistently ranked among the most corrupt countries in the world and many of its citizens live on less than $2 a day. This extreme poverty has forced at least 225,000 children into slavery working as unpaid household servants. Further crippling Haiti’s development is the appalling 50% literacy rate, and the fact that approximately 80% of college graduates from Haiti have immigrated to other nations effectively draining the nation of the youthful skill and education that is essential in developing an economy.
Welcome to HaitiSo why do we care now? Where was this apathy and generosity over the past two hundred years where wealthy nations and individuals raped this nation? Honestly, does it take a natural disaster to get noticed? And with all due respect for the work being done in Haiti now, how much of this new found generosity will be lost in bureaucratic costs and how much will western firms profit for the ‘re-construction’ of Haiti? Haitians, if anyone, deserve better.
Monday, January 25, 2010
'Pants On The Ground' Invades Canadian Politics
Well it's official, the "pants on the ground" phenomenon has invaded Canadian politics--more specifically the New Brunswick Legislature. Veteran politician, T.J. Burke in an inspirational moment decided to use "General" Larry Platt's song to illustrate how an opposition member had been caught with his "pants on the ground" in a recent radio interview.
Although not one of our most brightest moments, it is amusing to watch--what I presume to be--a well educated man breaking into song on the legislative floor!
Although not one of our most brightest moments, it is amusing to watch--what I presume to be--a well educated man breaking into song on the legislative floor!
Captian Canada Patrice Cormier
Lynch Patrice Cormier
Two dirty, and completely unnecessary hits shows this piece of works true character. Cormier has no comprehension of responsibility or repercussions. He should be ex-communicated from the hockey world. Cormier has no respect for other players in the game. In the past, I played competitive hockey for 13 years, I know the physical aspect of the game, I understand that things like this happen in the blink of an eye and players play with an edge, but these two hits look pre-meditated and intentional. The hit on Mikael Tam not only could have ended his career it could have caused permanent brain damage. Watching Mikael convulse on the ice is a painful site for any hockey player to watch knowing very well that they have left themselves exposed just like Mikael did countless times. A month or so earlier Cormeir committed a similar offense on Anton Rodin a Vancouver Canuck prospect. I'm not the type of person that believes athletes are role models, but this does set a poor precedent in the hockey world. The last thing we need are a bunch of head hunting goons developing. Something needs to be done, if not, someone needs to lay him out on the ice.
An eye for an eye, everyone goes blind!
An eye for an eye, everyone goes blind!
The Peter Chao Experience
A few months ago my cousin was ranting and raving about this flavor of the month youtube sensation Peter Chao. To be honest, at first I thought his videos blew, and didn't understand why he was getting so many hits to his youtube page. A month after this original view someone on my facebook posted a link to another Peter Chao video. recognizing the name, and remembering that I didn't find him particularly funny I still clicked on the link. Watching this second video "Chinese guy is a SEXIST" actually made me laugh out loud alone in my living room. I proceeded to watch several more video and upgraded his status from 'ehhh not impressed' to 'comedic prodigy'. Being from the same city as this guy I am on the Peter Chao hunt! My goal is to be featured in one of his videos and if I'm lucky enough have him rip on me.
Honestly, if you are reading this and have any sense of humor, do yourself a favor and watch a video, if you don't like him, spam his wall and make rip on him, lots of people do it.
Click here to check out his site.
Honestly, if you are reading this and have any sense of humor, do yourself a favor and watch a video, if you don't like him, spam his wall and make rip on him, lots of people do it.
Click here to check out his site.
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